# Speak the language of the people you want to reach

*Daniel Schmeiß · 2026-10-25*

When I want to convince someone of something, or tell them what is going on, I think about two things first. What does the other person need? And what are their goals? I always do this, whether I'm talking to the board or to a colleague on the team.

**Before I think about what to say, I think about what the other person needs and wants to achieve.**

## What does the other person need?

The first question is about the conversation itself. What does the person need to know to make sense of the situation? Should they decide something afterwards, do something, or just be in the loop? And how much detail helps them with that?

Then I tell them only what they need for that, even if I could tell them a lot more.

## What are their goals?

The second question goes beyond the conversation:

- What is this person measured on?
- What is on their mind right now?
- What would they gain from my proposal, and what would they lose?

Their role only gives part of the answers. For the rest, I ask the person directly or someone who knows them well.

## In their language

Both answers tell me which language to speak. By that I mean the terms the other person thinks in. If I explain something in my own terms, they have to translate it themselves, and what matters to me easily gets lost on the way.

This is most obvious when I explain technical context. With an engineer, I can talk about why two systems depend on each other and what a change to one means for the other. Someone on the business side usually wants to know what follows from that: whether a deadline moves, what it costs and whether customers will notice. Both get the same facts. I just start from what each person already knows and what is on their mind.

## What that looks like with the board

Say I want to convince the board of a reorganisation because a team is currently working on too many topics at once.

The board needs a basis for a decision from me. What such a basis can look like is in the post [Write it down before you decide](https://www.reflacto.com/blog/write-it-down-before-you-decide). If growth is one of the board's goals, I explain how the change connects to it. Today the team spreads its time across many topics, and each one moves slowly. If it focuses on the topic that matters most for growth, the result reaches customers sooner, and we see sooner whether it works. That shows where the change contributes to growth. The fact that it takes load off the team is part of the story too. It is the reason the team gets faster.

So I describe the relief for the team in the terms the board thinks in. That way my reasoning connects to what is already on the board's mind.

Sometimes the preparation also shows that my proposal doesn't fit the other person's goals. Then it's better to know that before the conversation than after.

If you want to raise something with senior management or your manager, the [Alignment Canvas](https://www.reflacto.com/frameworks/alignment-canvas) can help you put both sides' goals next to each other.

## The first step

Think of the next conversation in which you want to convince someone or bring them up to date. Write down two sentences beforehand: what this person needs from the conversation and what they want to achieve right now.

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Original page: https://www.reflacto.com/blog/speak-the-language-of-the-people-you-want-to-reach